>>6619024Hey, look, you are an amazing person, you might not see it but you are. And we all have ruts. Just don't give up in them, once the wheels sink in the mud its alot harder to get going again. You have a conflict about killing yourself, that's good, that means there must be a touch of hope in you, whether apparent or not. Now I'm going to try and give you advice, we don't know alot about your situation, but if you can do anything anyone here suggests please try it. Here's my two cent, on your off days explore hobbies, find anything you enjoy, once you find a thing or two, explore deeper into those, now find a way to work with those, whether it be in a shop selling stuff or trying to work behind the seines. Once you got an idea, try and go to school for what could help if there's classes related, if not try and get friendly with shop owners who sell thing things and maybe try and work there. Now if there are classes, that will work better, you will be in a group of people that are like-interested, study groups, group projects and shit are great for meeting folks. Just try and get to know them. If taking classes isn't a option go to local events, talk to people there, ask them about local groups and such, then go to the groups and meet more locals. The point I'm getting at is if you hate your job, find something you have interest in that can pay enough to live, and/or you can meet people through those interests. If you love games try programming or 3d modeling, music trying recording or mixing, tv take a broad casting class, there is options in every field. Just don't abandon hope, look at this day and age, people can make money off of YouTube, there's bound to be something you can do that you'll love. Just hang in there, I promise it'll get better. Just remember we all have dark times, but that's so we can enjoy the good times when they come.
