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I'm in love with a girl in my class who's got a boyfriend, up till now, I've never been close to a girl, not even as friends, but I somehow managed to become friends with her, but lately I've been too nervous to talk to her, worried that I might fuck it up, or ruin her relationship with her boyfriend since she seems happy with him, I feel like I'm doing something evil.
The worst thing about all this is that year's of solitude have made it hard for me to like other people. hell, there was a time when I thought that I was gay since it's been years since I had feelings for a girl.
I love her, this is the first time I felt such an attraction to a girl, I just love everything about her, I love her voice, her smile, her personality, her cute little face and the she's always trying to hide her shyness.
Whenever I get close to her, I feel like I don't deserve her, I can't even say anything unless she starts talking, she's the only worthwhile girl that has ever acknowledged me, she makes me feel better about myself.
But I keep thinking about what might happen if my low self confidence got the better out of me, or my hatred for people, for "normies", or even my lack of trust in other people, even those that I consider close to me.
Or my fucked up childhood.
Reading what I just wrote, it reads like a damn mess, It's just that I don't know how to explain my thoughts well.
