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Hi
I had a relationship from when i was twenty. It cooled of and lasted longer than it should have, if you know what i mean?
We didn't even touch each other in the end. After being depressed and longing for connection. I was the one who tried to talk about it, she really didn't care enough to make any changes. It cost me my education, i really couldn't think about anything else and i lacked focus studying history and just quit. Meanwhile she finished her bachleor and masters degree while i was working my ass of and doing nothing but supporting her. When it came to it after ten years I ended it right before i turned 30. Two weeks later she slept with what had been my best friend and i basically walked in on them. Afterwards i just fell apart, i didn't do anything other than cutting them out of my life.
One of my other friends is still hanging out with the douche who betrayed me and every time he brings his name up it just drives us apart but i can't bring myself to tell him.
Im 36 now and i can't not identify myself with what happened. My life those ten years feels like a black hole i can't get out of. They're probably living their life, it's feels so unfair. I don't want to become bitter either it's just... I can't get anything done. I am a wreck and I've tried therapy but it didn't help at all. I don't know how to get over this, where to start even. Six years hasn't been enough to heal this stuff. Im not sure where I'll end up, reinventing yourself after something like that is so hard...
