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Im 27 and 8 years ago my whole family died.
My father got to hospital and was diagnosed with lung cancer. Was on a vacation during this time and couldnt say goodbye to a man that actually hit me during his drinking sessions. Still love him to this day. 3 Months later my mother was diagnosed the same thing. Stayed at home but since the cancer is destroying organs she is screaming and crying all night.
For 2 weeks straight she´s in constant pain. One night she asks me to kill her and wants to end the pain. Cant do anything. Felt so lonely.
2 Months Later she dies too. Left with my grandmother. A month later shes having a stroke from all the grief she must have been through burying her own child. From there i visited her daily in the hospital. She cant speak anymore but she was there. I read storys from the newspaper so she doesnt feel to lonely. Last person i have left. She got a second stroke and was completely gone. The last few minutes of her life, she cried and i took her hand and told her everything is going to be okay. She can be with my grandfather and with her daughter. Lost my traineeship afterwards. 1 year without a job just living into the day. Decided to either kill myself or get my ass off the ground. I moved to berlin and started a new life.
On the last 8 years i constantly dream about my mother crying and asking for death. I know im fucked up. But every day of my life is something i have to endure for the family i lost.
And im thankful for every piece of life coming at me.
Everyone of you struggling will endure it. Everyone of you having problems and not being happy with the way things go, will find a way through it. You are all amazing people going through shit. Never back down and embrace life.
