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she makes me feel a bit alleviated, I was/am in a situation like yours but after so much bullshit and then reflecting upon it, just fuck them and anything that bothers you. Treat friends and such as luxuries, just because you dont have them doesnt mean you are gona die, and at some point youll find friends who are yours truly, I find that lot of friends nowadays are as empty as the word love. Vision your ideal future and try to live it by working towards it no matter how lonely, because in the end good guys finish last.