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Im not depressed. But my default mood isn't happiness. Its just meh. There was a time when my default mood was positive, but I haven't felt that way for a long time. I mean I do get happy moments frequently, yet they have to be triggered.
For the past day now I've been feeling extremely nostalgic. I want to go back to this more simple time where I didn't worry about everything so much and when I didn't get bored so easily. Ive been adjusting my environment to encourage this nostalgia. Ive been listening to music I listened to (a lot of it is cringey but I still had some taste back then). Even though its mid-winter, the sun is out so Ive opened the curtains and let the light inside. Ive changed my desktop picture from the bleak and gloomy cityscape I had for months to pic related.
Im trying to figure out how to change my mood, and Im optimistic, but without confronting the source of the problem though. Part of me knows exactly who I have to encounter but the other part knows I have to move on. I just have to figure this part out.
