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1/2, sorry about the long post.
I met a girl at work. I realized that I really, really like her. That is surprising to me, because I haven't felt anything remotely romantical for years, been apathetic as hell.
But she has a boyfriend, a bummer, right?
Get closer, talk with her for a while. She tells me about herself, lots of unpleasant things (suicide attempt, shitty exes), I give her empathy, not in a friendzone kind of way, of course, but because that's what I tend to do.
Asks me to go for a walk. I refuse, because, duh, she has a boyfriend.
Continue talking => get closer one day, she tells me that he's a dick and their relationship is lukewarm nowadays. I decide to tell her about my feelings. She says that's likewise, but they've been dating for quite a while, so yadda-yadda, I'm sorry. Long story short, we kiss. This is my first kiss. And then we fuck. This is my first fuck.
So that makes her a cheating bitch? I'm kind of trying to justify/understand her, maybe she really has feelings for me and she's not interested in her boyfriend at all, so why can't we be together? I ignore that, play fool, keep going out with her, because I feel fucking alive and worthwhile for the first time in my life.
Two months passed, all of a sudden, she stops talking to me. Ask her what's wrong. She says that she's not in the mood. Tell her it's okay, offer to talk about it, she refuses, that's okay, maybe she'll sleep it over. Next day, she's chatting with her friends/co-workers at work, laughing etc, keeps ignoring me, just says "hi" and that's the coldest "hi" I heard in my life.
Month passes, I ask her what's wrong once again. She tells me that she's attached to me and kind of wants not to be attached. We have a little fight, I apologize. Get pretty depressed for a while, but kind of wish her the best, because, well, how can you not wish the best to a person you're so fond of.
