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Op, though life is hard on you now, and has been for a while, life always dips and dives though phases of happiness and sadness. The worst part of the sadness is that you never know when it will end. Though to know the sadness, you have to have had happiness in your life at sometime to compare it to, that's the beauty of it all, like the walls you dump, they have a theme, positive or negative, they range in all catagories and colours, just like life. The life you have is dreary at the minute, but it shall change eventually into something wonderful, i just hope you decide to hang in there long enough to see it, best of luck to you Op, and thank you for this dump.