>>74174772/3
I believe I've uncovered the reason for most of my depressive issues and impotence and trace it to sexual bullshit that happened when I was young like the incident with my mother and others with siblings. I despise my mother and her whoreness and its translated to something similar with most women. I hate promiscuity. I hate this casual sex lifestyle our society currently promotes. I know Im an attractive dude and could snag women if I wanted to, but I would hate myself for it. Everytime I've been with a woman I've felt this off-putting sense of shame in myself, as if Im breaking some rule or doing something I shouldnt be doing and it's been the cause of my limpdick and failure with relationships. Almost every girlfriend I've had has ended up cheating on me due to me effectively blue-balling them for months.. but I honestly can't blame them.
Only woman I've had true chemistry with and true feelings for is back home and I visited last fall and spent a lot of time with her. Every moment comfortable, every conversation natural. We share everything and its a feeling no other woman has provided me.. On top of it all, she's beautiful and she knows it, but she doesn't use it to take advantage of people, nor flaunts her vanity on social media. She's very introspective and has real aspirations she knows how to get to.. the amount of depth to her is wonderful and it keeps me going desu. I liken it to the visibility of stars, actually. , even as I realise I, to a degree, put her on a pedestal and use my belief of what she is to keep my hope up. I liken it to Ive crushed on her since 2012 but due to me being a huge pussy, I never made a move back then. Well, things went great when I was with her in November and we ended up at her place one night and things didn't go as planned.. without boring you with drama, she basically is now convinced I only wanted her for sex and we're not on speaking terms and haven't been since.
