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Oh boy, 27 this year, and boy did I spend some years just bumming around. But yaknow maybe that's ok. Because you could work really fucking hard and life still probably won't work out the way you want. Probably you'll just cope and get better at coping. When things couldn't get much worse, maybe things will get better, but there will be some shattering moments where things are bad and then get badder still. I saw a psychiatrist recently because I thought I'd dropped off the deep end, and the psychiatrist told me he thought I was well measured. Maybe that was just a morale boost. But the months prior and the months after I was really lost, stuck while the fabric of reality crumpled like scrap paper and still people carried on because the world never stops. It's almost funny that when times were retrospectively good I spent so much time wanting to die, and now that things are often so unfathomably bad I am imbued with purpose to change myself and then the world in an objectively positive way. I think the advice I would want to pass on to a past version of me, is to try real hard not to be lonely.
