>>72140472/2
Soon after that I notice that she's having some photos with a co-worker, they're constantly talking at lunches etc. One day I notice that she's hugging him, and definitely not in a friendly "tee-hee" way. I approach her soon after that, ask her what does that mean. Tell her in a beta way that it's none of my business, but the last time we spoke she told me that she doesn't want to be a whore anymore and what she's doing right now is hypocrite as fuck. She responds to me passively-agressively that she broke up with her bf and "she's going to do what she wants from now on". Apparently, soon after that, she's dating that guy.
I understand that I kind of dodged the bullet. I understand that she's a terrible person (so am I?) and she treated her ex like shit (maybe he treated her even worse?). I understand that her new bf is going to have a really bad fucking time sooner or later, because she's unlikely to change.
Yet at the same time I just can't stop thinking that I've fucked up a nice opportunity to be happy and not lonely. She repulses me to my core, yet I still long for her sometimes. I can't understand how come she wouldn't approach me after her breakup, knowing about my feelings. I can't understand why would she stopped talking to me in the first place since she broke up with her ex so quickly after that. I'm deeply concerned/convinced that I'm not going to feel the same things I've felt with her. That my future is static and foggy. I'm probably being overly dramatic, but It's very hard to believe that's there's plenty of fish in the sea: that might be true, but the thing is, you couldn't care less for all this fish when you're so glacial inside.
