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I feel very odd lately. I have not been sleeping well. There is a haze of forgetful melancholy -- I am forgetting everything whether it is important or not. I feel dissociative and dysphoric; I am forgetting that I am a real human and not just a fading consciousness. It seems like there is nothing (and no one) to tether me to reality. I have no real friends except a small number of Internet friends. They are the only people who seem to care about me at all, but they are very unreliable and inconsistent. I am alone and I know it, yet I continue to lie to myself and try my hardest to convince myself that I am loved, and that others do care. No one truly cares about me. No one cares any person other than themselves. The idea of love, and the concept of mutual dependence are social constructs perpetuated by media and society. We are animals -- we do not have the capacity to love, but only to lust, and to hate, and to hurt.