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Reminds me off when I first got Uzumaki on hard cover. The book was great and while reading it life was ok.
What really sucked was the girl I was with. Rather, she was great. But the relationship tore me apart. I was so enthralled by being with her, my oneites, that I didn't expresses myself out of fear of ruining it. Additionally she had some depression and that caused her to also become infatuated with me. Our love towards each other plus long distance caused me to be unable to emotionally express myself for about 6 months.
Our relationship was in my mind the best thing, but in actuality it was a burden. I felt like every problem in my mind was 10x as big, and it just spurred more problems. I even talked directly to her about my pain, which she shared, and no conclusion could be reached. It felt like I was doomed to never be able to find mental ease. Depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and many tears followed what was one of my worst semesters at college.
Looking back, the whole experience was actually great. I learned how important honesty and self expression is. I also learned how much turmoil my mind faced on a daily basis and I began meditation and yoga. I'm much better now! And junji Ito is still one of my favorite illustrators and story tellers. His lovecraftian themes and emotional expression hit me just right.
