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my dad used to abuse me and my brothers until i was like 15.
he used to whip us with a literal horse whip, punch us, kick us, loudly exclaim that he was god (shit like that).
i was molested at age 11 and when he found out he just made fun of me along with his. (i used to be a straight A student but constantly thinking about what me and my brothers have been through lead to me start abusing substances like alcohol, benzos,synthetic weed, and ultimately IV oxycontin.
Time passed and he started falling ill at about 40, realising that because of what he’s done he would have to deal with it alone but my brothers took pitty of him and they did their best to be there for him and take care of him but i just sort of tuned out and stopped caring about him. i would even steal his entire oxycontin scripts to inject and i felt nothing.
he passed away this past september and i had no reaction. i had to pretend to feel devastated as to not show my family the overflowing happines that this has brought me. ofcourse i faked tears and all that drama to put on a show on for people and apear at least somewhat affected by his passing. But using the ocasion of the funeral, i sprayed myself in the eyes with cologne to trick naive pharmacists into giving me benzos without a script.
i will not be visiting his grave ever and i plan on killing myself soon via OD.
I love my mom to bits tho.
