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Girlfriend of four years kinda broke up with me on saturday, It was semi-mutual but I am not the type of person to let someone I had for four years just slip out of my life. It hurts but I want what is best for her and I.
We have taken breaks before and "broken up" before too but we could never stay away from each other. We have been through a lot and still need one another.
I am worried, this time it feels real. Not because she does not love me but I feel like I should not let her back into my life. Girlfriend or friend wise. I just don't know what to do. I am not sulking I mean I am good with the ladies. Just before we split I had two random girls hit on me and this friday I am hanging with this thick arabic girl at my house. But not knowing what is going to happen next is killing me. Us not talking, me not knowing what she is doing, if she is safe, happy, sad. It is surreal. This picture was my birthday this year, we went shooting in the AZ desert with my friends. It started raining. Hard. The day seemed like it was gonna be ruined. Sure enough the sun came out, it was a beautiful chilly day. It was the best birthday I ever had. Days like that with her hurt the most.
Life sucks. We will see.
