>>7650749I drank with her and smoked weed for more than half a year pretty much, but after I saw this was getting serious, I wanted to try and make this a healthier relationship, where we could enjoy each other's company without alcohol. I was able to do that, since I only ever drank when others did, including with her. But I noticed that even when we agreed we'd drink something non-alcoholic that day, she'd agree at first, but when we'd meet up, she drank anyway, even though I didn't. It was sad honestly. She wasn't able to show a gesture of appreciation and literally drink something healthy like once in 1.5y we spent together.
At one point I said it's pointless trying to change her, and I basically gave up. Said to myself I'll stay in it for fun now. That was one year down the line. Then corona happened, and we got locked out for 2 or so months, during which we couldn't meet. She didn't drink during that time as much as I'm aware, I mean stores didn't work.
After we met up finally once everything calmed down, the usual behavior continued. At that point, even though we had some good times, and I've developed an attachment to her, I was getting ready to let go of this dysfunctional shit. But something happened in the meantime. Right after corona, she got pregnant. Now, at that point I firmly believed it was my kid, but thinking about it now, I'm not even sure anymore. Anyway, we agreed to get an abortion, as I would've had to quit uni, and she wouldn't get to finish HS. It was a sensible thing to do.
I went through the whole abortion with her, and stayed for another 2 months after it happened, as I couldn't leave her when she was that vulnerable. Boy was I wrong. I had already started to act distant, since she never showed an interest in making the relationship work out.
Then came a day when I just told her I thought this wouldn't work out, and it'd be for the best if we parted ways. But I wasn't ready to let go.
>cont 