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Its been 2 months since I got dumped by who I thought I would marry. I never felt like that before with anyone. I supported her through a mastectomy, fertility treatments, chemo, and I even changed jobs. Now I'm 29 and all alone again. She dropped some of my stuff off and left a note this week. Signed it off with a heart. She hit me with all the classic bullshit. I helped "heal" her by showing her that she is worthy of love. She loves me but doesn't think she would be happy being married to me. She said she doesn't know how she would have made it through her treatments without me.
Her dad even called to let me know that he though I was a good man and that he believes that things will work out for me "how ever that looks"
But here I am, again. not enough.
I know it is over, and I don't think she's coming back. And even if she did. She's already broken me once. And I don't think I could let it happen a second time.
I thought maybe that I would be relieved that I don't have a girlfriend with breast cancer, but I am just not. That didn't matter to me. I just knew I wanted to be with her and create as much joy as we could, no matter how long or short that was.
I miss her, I miss her parents, I miss the rest of her family and all her nephews.
It just fucking sucks.
I wanted to start a family by now and be further in my career but I just fucking stumble every step of the way. At best I'm going to be old as shit by the time they are older and I could be active with them.
