Quoted By:
after years of running out of breath, quickly decaying health, life-ruining insomnia coupled with horrible hypnagogic hallucinations, extreme brain fog and memory loss, i found out the mattress i've been sleeping on for a decade has horrible mold. i know i should've checked before. and i know not everything will be fixed when i replace it next week, or that every problem can be traced back to it, but at least it feels like there's finally something i can more or less fix instantly.
i keep thinking about a girl i was classmates with in 3rd grade, whose recently divorced mother made and sold mattress covers. she mentioned they were very high quality. waterproof. i remember she told me about it once, and i didn't know exactly what she was referring to, because my mother kept everything about the mechanics and rhythms of housework a secret. her family's income was unstable and they moved around a lot. this girl switched schools but i've thought about her sporadically because she had an unusual (for my school/area) hair type.
and then i've also thought a lot about a phrase i read earlier this year in Jung's chapter in Man and His Symbols, where he states that sometimes dreams can "announce" events before they happen, not because they're miraculous, but because a lot of crises have an unconscious history, in that the choices we make in life lead us to them. the unconscious, thus, makes us aware of what we miss when we're awake. it took me a long time to read that chapter because i felt like he didn't make a concise or precise enough definition of archetypes, like they were too overreaching to have a meaningful use. but then it's been difficult to follow pretty much anything. maybe i've been too sick. last night i couldn't sleep which isn't unusual, but i felt a pressure building inside me, like the pain i felt when i was a child and in school they kept saying we shouldn't speak when we were running because we'd get hurt.
