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Anon, I've been there many, many times through my 43 years. I've learned a few things that help me cope. Maybe they'll help you.
Every single thing you see around you, including you, has it's origins in the center of massive stars which exploded millions/billions of years ago. That in itself is amazing isn't it?
The universe as we are aware of it, is incomprehensibly gargantuan. The fact that it exists at all is utterly bizarre. The fact that we exist and are able to contemplate our existence and our surroundings is astounding.
The universe has manifested you in this way and you have been given an opportunity to witness something ineffable. It's a ride. Some of it is fun, some of it boring, some happy, some sad, some terrifying and sometimes you feel done with it and want to leave the ride.
You have absolutely no way to know what is going to happen around the next corner of this ride. You could come up with an idea that changes everything for you. You could meet someone, or find a new friend or become a fucking crack addicted hobo. You never know.
Why not stick around to see what's coming up next?
You have the power to change the road you're on. Having a difficult time with your life? Move somewhere. Family keeping you down? Cut your ties with them.
My life is totally different from what I thought it would have been when I was older.
I hope you are okay. Things will get better for you. Keep your head up and keep trying to improve yourself and your situation .
In 15 billion years from now your atoms will be spread across space.
