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For those anons hurting from life. I never really had passion over anything and kinda drifted through life. 2 years ago I bit the bullet, and switched from shitty white collar call center jobs and moved into blue collar. (I'm a pipeline worker now, fuck!) This was a bit of a shock to my self perception, but here I am, 2 years later better off, and biting the bullet was a lot less painful then I thought it would be. I say, if you fear failure, or fear success, just leap. If you fail, you move on, and if you succeed, it won't be as painful as you think it will be.
Now for the personal stuff. Lately I've been re-examining my family life. After talking to my sisters over drinks, I feel as if I've had any form of childish worship of my parents ripped away. I am a man of great faith, and the mother who dedicated herself to her walk with god, might actually be part of a cult. My father who is wise and witty, one who finds time to enjoy drink and friends, might be drinking to cope with the stress of keeping my mom from moving to a commune. Childhood memories of changes in weekly patterns might really be a period where my parents were staking claims on their children in case of divorce. This would have happened around when my mom's church became cultish. They kicked out my dad, and made her an elder on the same day. Then I remember my dad and I going to different churches after that. I have a mental disability, and I realize I could have been easily brainwashed... I realize my godbrothers are brainwashed. My dad saved me from that.
Until now I thought of there marriage as nearly perfect. I knew there was trouble, but I saw them as the peak reward of sticking things through, but now I think my dad is struggling and is just sheltering everyone from his pain...
It's some heavy stuff to work through, and pipeline workers aren't the type to open their hearts.
Keep at it guys.
The pic is my fav just because the colours are muted enough to not hurt my eyes in the night.
