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It reminds me to get my degree so I can finally travel the world like I've dreamed of since being young. So I can finally go be independent and looking forward to the road ahead of me with a confident smile for once in many, many years instead of dwelling on past mistakes, failures, relationships and ruined opportunities.
The problem is I get so cynical and apathetic anymore that I sometimes wonder if I can even muster the confidence to go back to school for 4 more years at 27, after being a NEET for 3 years, and if my dreams are tangible enough for me to reach, or just a lie I keep perpetuating in my head to stave off suicide. If I can't even get out of bed without dreading what lies ahead before me in the day, traveling to distant lands and all that comes with it seems insurmountable.
