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If you are thinking about killing yourself, just think of the odds of you being born are about 1 in 400 trillion, if you kill yourself not only you are a coward, but also an ungrateful bitch.
Live through life even if it hurts, turn that pain into the fuel that makes you go through the layers of shit you have to face every day. And when life punches hard, you grab a crowbar and smash that fuckers skull.
I would hope that everything goes well in the future, but it always does. Good luck