>>7070514You are locked on to a specific interpretation of the last sentence of my first post. All life is life to me. A flower is precious, and I would rather see it grow than be picked, but I don't berate my child for bringing it to me. Does that make sense? All life matters, and all life has a role. I comfortably eat meat, and I take care to take animals humanely when I hunt.
In speaking with other people, I hear the way they describe the overwhelming emotional bond with their children, or a spouse, or another family member.
I don't experience that familial demarcation. My children are people. If they have an altercation with another child, my concern for the other child is the same as that for my own. When my spouse has a problem with someone at her job, I wonder about the other person with the same concern I have for my wife.
The part of me that is gone now is the passion. I know that I love, but I do not feel it. Similarly, I can feel happy, but it is a deliberate choice that I make. When not deliberately applying my system I feel simply empty.
This is why I thrive in my job. It simply does not occur to me until well after the fact that I might come to harm in a fight. I saw people trying to harm my charges, and I thought nothing of killing them. I felt nothing upon treating wounded soldiers, and I treated the enemy as well. Once the fight was over, it was just scarred men who needed to be treated.
It does hit me at odd times. I wake up sometimes, and I know that I was dreaming of my kids, or the mountains, or war. or something else, and I know that I felt.
Do you remember your dreams vividly? I loose mine very quickly. I have since 2002. I remember dreams from my childhood very vividly. But now it just vanishes. I think I feel in the dreams I have now. I'd like to remember it.
