>>7860813She is.
But I also have always been attracted to the hermit life. Clearly, in the Middle Ages, I would have been a Cistercian monk, and I would have had a very good life. The noise of the city, the hustle and bustle, the people, all that tends to tire me out quickly.
I have friends, I'm very sociable, and I love to spend evenings with them from time to time, drinking beers in bars, playing tabletop rpg, watching movies and all, but I often find that I have just as good an evening when I'm alone.
With my girlfriend, it's a little bit the same: I like it when we're together, but when I'm alone, I feel like I'm freer, I can breathe.
I'm just very afraid that I'll make the wrong choice, that I'll enjoy this life of solitude for a few months or years, but later I'll realize that I'll grow old and die alone and that I've wasted my life. So for now I stay with her, because of the two choices, this is the one that is not irrevocable.
I talked to my therapist about it, but she couldn't really help me. I don't think you guys can, but at least it allows me to say what's on my mind. So thanks for that :)
