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Warning: English second language
I'm a 17 year old dude from Iceland, just last night i started to get bored so i started to talk to my ex on talkd and started to ask her deep stuff like ''Are you the kind of person you would like as a friend? And Why. then I moved to calling other people, mostly ''friends''/aquaintences and started to ask them pretty deep questions. I found on the internet pretty worrying philosyphical questions and ponderings. None of my ''friends'' could bear with me for more then 2 minutes before saying goodbye... so I called a girl that's 1 year younger then me and I have not met her in like 2 years but I remember she was insanely honest. and so she was answering every question like '' do you matter?-no'' or ''do you exist or do you live? - I am still on the existing level''but with every question I just got sadder and sadder until I just could not take it and started weeping. I know I am only a 17 year old twat but fuck, life is just gonna get harder and harder and then you die... I do have someone in my life though, her name is Hekla and I would maybe be suicidal without her. And I realized that our love can only end in two ways.
1.) She leaves me and crushes my existence.
2.) We live our lives together, grow old, have kids...and then i get to see the person that i love the most die and wither away...
Also I just realized that I have ''daddy issues''. I love my dad and we live together and he's my nr.2 best friend but he proke so many promises when i was a kid again and again that it just did not bother me anymore, thats the reason I can only truly reveal myself to strangers like you b/
becouse I'm so afraid of betrayl from my closest people... (If i'm being a bitch then fuck it, I needed to vent) p.s I'm cool now
