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I'm growing detached and painfully apathetic; I've felt like my life has been paused for 4 years. I don't wanna see 30; almost three decades, and nothing to show but failure after failure. No degree, no job, no decent work experience because of deteriorating mental health over the last 10 years; girlfriend left me for another guy (thanks for the lies, Ash); only have my best friend left and I don't even feel close to him anymore. I hold it all in anymore and it hurts like hell. It's a struggle to get out of bed. If it weren't for my little sunshine yellow pills, I'd never get out of bed. Pathetic.
I hope to God I don't hit 30: there's nothing left in this world for me beyond that point.
