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I have been complete chaos.
My ex girlfriend started dating a man I used to call friend, they moved to another state. I have been alone since I left her and started studying, being by myself all the time and doing martial training.
Everything seemed to be OK until she returned and said that she broke up with him, she was in the hospital after an attempted suicide and we've been talking again ever since. Her life always sucked, but he made it worst.
Another friend of mine had known all this and hid it from me.
A friend I hold dearest than anybody else insists in leaving me at a safe distance, despite showing that she clearly wants me close to her. I decided to stay away and pretend she doesn't exist.
I'm sad, OP. I'm sad, and I'm desperate. I feel lonely, I feel shelterless. Nestless. Christmas came, and I remembered just how bad my family relations are.
I wish I was close to my family. I wish they were close to each other.
That's probably why I want to have children so much.
There's so much pressure on me at this point, and the problems around me don't help the situation.
I went so far as to try Tinder but I haven't found a single person that I actually talked to for more than a couple of hours. People always seem uninterested, I feel like a boring person. Like I'm part of the supporting cast on everybody's life.
And the only friend I used to feel important to, well, I just told you up there.
I'm lost. And I'm sorry if the post got a bit long.
Pic related: I feel like running away. Maybe if I lived in a big city where I could meet new people, I'd find something.
