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I made some really poor choices a little over a year ago that made my world feel a lot smaller in a lot of ways. I've been trying to find things that make me happy in every aspect I can.
I'm trying to restore how wonderful and mysterious and expansive everything was when I was young. I want to feel what it was like to sit down and play CS Source and listen to Infinity on High and not be a fuckup that feels like damaged goods again.
I've been decorating most things (papes included) with a lot of non-photo/realistic images in deep blues and greens. They remind me of nights in the suburb where my uncle lives in Virginia and it really calms me down.
It's helped. I've been getting a lot of shit taken care of, and even though I have days where I feel really off, they're becoming less frequent. I think getting in to shape and building a positive image of myself would really help and so I've been working toward that.
