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I don't believe in love anymore, Im in the cycle of pulling and pushing in my life. Part of me pushing myself out in the world and living. The other pulls me into myself, into seclusion and isolation. I want to badly to believe I'll see the people I've lost, I badly want to believe that life isn't bad. I know that everything ends...and I know it's what makes life worth living. But I don't know if I believe that anymore, I know I'm blessed to live, but god damn it hurts. I hide behind humour and my work, I obsesse my life in my job and music hoping I'll find some closure in the arts and in money. When in reality it's as empty as the atoms in everything we see. I just want love, I want to see my godmother again, I want the only love of my life to come back from wherever we go after this beautiful nightmare. I just hope things make sense one day, but maybe I'm okay with staying dazed and confused.
