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I've never been okay with the fact that I'll never be rewarded for being moral. I've tried all my life to stick to the way of righteousness and honesty, and sometimes I've been so desperate for a result that I've done some bad things. There's no heaven for me to reach, and I cannot build a Kingdom of Heaven on earth. The only thing that makes me continue to try to be good is the personal gratitude I get from the people around me, but it saddens me to know that one day they will not be there with me. I wish heaven existed. It would make my life worth something.