>>6533764>>6533768>>6533771I think you'd benefit from taking the edge off of your own perfectionism, which is closely related to your drive to "be the best", which alone and in moderation is fine but when coupled with perfectionism is very bad. Like you say, you end up not doing anything because you can't confront being second-rate, or worse. I get this, but it's unhealthy, unhelpful, and generally just bad.
The best thing you can do is learning to better accept natural mediocrity in certain areas. I know it goes counter to our entire culture right now, but there are some things you're naturally bad at. You can get good at some of them with practice and hard work, but most of them you'll stay bad at, that's just how it goes. And that's okay.
Something that might help is practicing something you're very bad at until you git gud. Learn a new language, learn to play an instrument, become a chess badass, get to where you can draw really well, something that's useful to know but not insanely demanding that you can do every day. The worse you are at it at the start, the better. I know it'll be tough at first when you don't immediately make huge improvements, but you're clearly a motivated dude.
>>6533774First job may suck, but better stuff is to come. You have a lot of opportunity where you are. Keep your shit clean and your ear to the ground.
If you really love your gf, stick with it. People make mistakes, and if she legitimately regrets it there's no reason you both can't go on. But if you're just staying with her because you feel like you need *someone*, I would advise reconsidering the whole thing. Those types of relationships are really unhealthy and typically don't go anywhere but down. The longer you wait, the more it'll hurt when it implodes. I don't mean to be cruel, but that's just how it is. I've seen too many of my friends suffer in bad relationships to wish that on anyone. But whatever you do, I hope it works out for the best. Have a pape.
