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my entire life i've always felt like im two different people in one body. An extreme sadist, but also deeply empathetic. Self loathing, and godlike. Light and playful, and brooding and serious. It's like i've lived two lives, one with my dads side as the oldest sibling who took care of everyone, and then with my mom as the youngest sibling who got everything. i dont get it. i've never been to therapy but i feel like im bipolar. even in art, im attracted to duality, contrast, extremes. i hate and love myself. im the best and worst. i need to find some way of ratifying these two worlds, or i'm literally going to fall apart. i dont know which is the real me.
