Quoted By:
I've never felt more incompetent in my life before.
I feel like I'm very unintelligent (used to be the best in my class in math, now I feel pretty slow and can't tell if it's because I haven't studied or I'm just thick), very slow in social situations (although I've never have had as many friends as I have now and never felt appreciated more than I feel now, even though they don't see through me, the shitshow that I really am), never have given myself to short term pleasure this much (cigarettes, alcohol, weed, even though I don't even enjoy them as much as I used to), never felt emptier inside, have lost most of my interest in stuff I used to be passionate about, anxiety has started to show itself again, feel lonely all the time and find it very hard to enjoy talking to people which I used to. Exams are coming up in a few weeks, college in a few months and I have the least bit of the discipline I need to make it through college when it comes about. My superficial childhood is probably to blame for my lack of motivation and discipline, and my failed attempts at changing it. In other events, a friend also decided it was a good time for him to confess he was gay and in love with me, which has caused him for the last 6 months a lot of displeasure, yet another feeling of guilt I have to bear with me.
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Anyway here's a pic I shot on film a few days ago
