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Now and then I get this abrupt jolt like I've just been born, but fully cognitive. It's hard to describe.
It's like out of no where I suddenly no longer recognize myself, my life and even the laws of nature. A combination of "Who's life is this?" and "What the fuck is life and existence?" Everything I know, everything I am is suddenly gone. These panic attacks, or whatever they are, only last a few seconds and they're not triggered by anything. Several times a week I just lose all identity and subjectivity. And words just can't accurately describe the sense of sheer terror and anxiety I feel in those brief moments. I'm afraid to bring it up with a therapist, and because the attacks are so brief, I feel like I can just sit on it.
