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woops, duplicate, my b.
I still struggle a bit with relationships, I've dated a couple girls in my tenure as a high school student, but I've still a virgin as a result of the ideology that sec is a meaningful thing instilled in me by the animes i used to watch as a kid. I got a lot of my ideals from the shows i watched as a kid(Robotech coming to mind for instance) and I feel the need to be a hero at times, but I don't really know that i'm cut out to be that guy. I recently mustered up the courage to ask the girl of my dreams to prom, this fantastic intelligent beautiful woman, only to find out someone had asked her the day before, so i settled for this other girl, but i feel like I'm doing this girl a disservice, because she always be second best in my eyes, and i hate to be that guy. Uhhh, to kinda sum up my psychological state, i just feel like that I'm not making a difference in the world, and I'm playing someone elses side character,and I hate it. I desperately want to be the best, but i don't know how to get there, so i just don't do anything. I dunno Is that defeatist? anyways, sorry for such a long as ranty stream of conscience thing. Props to anybody who made it all the way through.
