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>Was working on getting doctorate and Master's, college literally got shut down due to company owners in the background skimming off student loans
>Had to choose whether to transfer a quarter of my credits which meant keeping the massive loan and adding on 30k to get the degree, or wiping all my credits to wipe the loan
>Wipe my credits
>Want to go back and get degree to escape job, but would require re-taking all of the classes I did before
>Get a job at a crisis detox unit night shift, talk to suicidal/homicidal people going through meth psychosis or wanting to deck me because they're drunk
>All employees I liked quit or got fired with new management, now working with people I don't know and feel like I'm stuck in a dead end job
>Job isn't remotely close to what I thought I'd be doing at this age
>Had to move back in with parents, have enough money to move out now but have no real desire to do anything these days
>Parents in financial problems, constant stress throughout house
>Feel guilty spending money because what if my family needs help
>Mother is in hospital weekly due to what are more or less heart attacks, doctors told her to consider talking to lawyers about "plans"
>No relationship, friends out of state in their own worlds
>Work, sleep, play video games, repeat for the past year
I just feel lost I guess. I don't want to be here, but if I'm not, the few people I care about suffer. I thought I'd be doing a lot at this age. Finishing my degree, working in this great field, finding people I can finally be comfortable with, traveling, living on my own, etc etc. But I'm just here, nothing has changed.
I hate that I know, deep down, I just don't want to be here. I just really, really, don't want to see what comes next. But I have to, otherwise I hurt others. So here I am.
