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They won't listen to me. I don't give a fuck if I get better. I just want to die and that's it. I don't want anything else. I just want to die. I want to die. Just let me die. The last line of defense has been broken. I don't care how anyone will feel if I kill myself anymore. It was the last line of defense and it's gone. Honestly it's a very shitty last line of defense. If it was a good one people wouldn't kill themselves. But they do. Because sooner or later you have to do what's best for you. Killing myself is what's best for me. Nobody believes me. But I know what's best for me. I just want it to end so bad. The pain has been too much for as long as I have memory. It's so unbearable. Nobody has any idea what my pain feels like. They couldn't comprehend it if they tried. It's so much greater than anyone thinks it might be. There aren't any words for it anymore. It's beyond that. My heart has given up. It's tired. It's been running on empty. Love is evil. Love is cruel. Love makes us kill people. Love makes us feel resentment. Love makes us feel loneliness. Love makes us feel all of the negative emotions in the world. Love is evil. I hate it. I hate the structure of the universe. It's so poorly designed. Why do people cling so hard to their lives? Life is disgusting. It is wretched. Life is suffering. Love is suffering. I don't want to suffer. I don't want to suffer. I don't want to suffer anymore. It is not beautiful. It is disgusting. It's a sick joke. Love is a sick joke. Life is a sick joke. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. Please let me die. I can't fucking take it anymore. The pain in my chest is too much. People that suffer from depression reach a point where they know they can't take it anymore. They either commit suicide or get help. I was at this point at the age of twelve. I'm almost twenty six. I'm so far gone. I've been running on empty for so long.
