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Wrote out a pathetic sob story to the word count limit then deleted it. The long and short of it is that I'm in love with my best friend but I'm married and I love my wife. I feel like I'm being ripped in two different directions and I don't see a way out. It's a long, complicated story and I guess I don't need to go into the details.
If I can offer one piece of unsolicited advice, it's this: don't pass up opportunities. Live for today, right now. If you don't you will drown in regret as I have and you'll get the sick feeling of watching your entire life in the rearview mirror as you float along on the breeze.
I feel worthless, not much like a man these days, and I dwell on every mistake I've ever made and wish, wish, wish. This is a bad, very unhealthy habit and it destroys a person. I hope you live for what you have, and take comfort in the things that are yours. Do it now, while you have it all in your hands.
There's not a day goes by I don't think about taking a bottle of OxyContin and firing my pistol into the roof of my mouth. It's pathetic, truly, and I know that. The coward's way out, like we were taught as kids. How would the coward handle this? I've thought about it until my brain melted and cried myself dry over it.
To OP and all who have contributed to this thread: thank you. I take some solace in hearing your stories, even if they hurt. I love you all and I hope the sun comes up high for you tomorrow.
But there's truth and consolation
And what I'm trying to say
Is that nobody ever had a rainbow, baby
Until he had the rain
