>>8125481She's obviously trying to maintain emotional distance, but this year she's been closer than these last years. She didn't ghost me once this year, and for the first time, I'm learning how her system works and when she'll pull back.
In the past, when she pulled back, I blamed myself and started overthinking, but she always came back. All these years, even after weeks or months, she always tried to catch up again. This year, I've been more emotionally stable and her avoiding moments have been shorter than the years before.
I know the best for me would be to not catch any more feelings for her, as she's emotionally complicated and she lives far away. But I want to meet her again and clear my mind about what I want with her or if there's something else. If nothing works out and she sees me as nothing but a friend, then that's an answer. But it's something we don't really talk about, although we should.
I really like her and we get along pretty well. i'd rather have her as a friend than nothing at all
