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Uncertain. Let me explain, I guess.
It's been two years since my Mom died. 6 months since I graduated with an Associate's in Liberal Arts, with no drive to continue college and no real preference with what I do with the rest of my life, as long as my friends are happy. 2 months since I got out of an emotionally and mentally abusive friendship that I wanted so much to be a relationship for some god forsaken masochistic reason.
I just got hired at my first job, being paid above minimum wage in a part time position. It's only seasonal, but if I do well, I can get on for full time. I'm nervous and don't know when my first day will be, but I have my uniform ready and it's honestly kinda nice.
I'm in a friends with benefits situation with someone who mutually likes me, however they're not ready for a relationship. It's been a month. They've told me if I find someone else while waiting they'd understand, but I'm invested, patient, and stubborn. They know I'm invested. They know I already love them. I fall hard and I fall fast. She also has some issues in her life at the moment that are going to make it hard for us to see eachother for a few months. In that time, she could very well end up back with her ex boyfriend or trying to fill a void with whoever she crosses paths with. Whatever happens, she promises to break it to me the best way she can. I trust her.
Tonight's the third night in a row we haven't even texted eachother very much this week. I have Pokemon Moon running next to me but instead I'm on 4chan writing my current situation in life. Days have been weird with the uncertainty of my situation with her, I don't have much direction. I'm behind on all the anime I'm watching.
I don't really know where any of this is gonna take me. I still live with my Dad, who's always out; so I basically live alone. I guess if this job pulls through I have to start looking at what it's going to really be paying me. It kinda scares me that I haven't put that much thought into it
