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Hey JuJu,
I'm not into Asian women and whatnot so I've never been much of a fan of your taste in wallpapers but that's just an opinion.
Anyway, I used to dump here a lot, I'd post my trip but I don't want this to become a flame war.
I know what it's like to spend all day feeling like shit, and not being able to get out of the rut you've dug for yourself. I also know what it's like to use /wg/ as an escape from that.
But the truth is, the only thing holding you back is probably yourself. I've stopped coming to /wg/ or 4chan much in the past few years since I got back on track. I got myself a decent job, got a routine, got into shape. Things have gotten a lot better. I swear, sometimes even the colors seem brighter.
I don't have any profound words to share. But good luck man. Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't over analyze everything. Don't be judgmental. Don't make assumptions. Most of all, don't limit yourself.
Stay golden mate. Work hard, play hard.