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not very sad but it hurts
>community college
>english class, have one friend
>notice this girl every once and a while
>one day teacher makes us get in pairs
>get groups with random kid
>we get along and start talking
>on break that girl walks up to us one day
>they were friends the whole time
>hangout outside of class, the 4 of us
>meet at same place about once or twice a month for 4 months
>me and her start talking on our own time
>hit. it. off.
>we are literally the same person(opposites attract is not my thing)
>keep talking for couple months
>one day we decide to have a sad movie marathon, that a topic in our conversations
>it was practically a date, go to lunch watch movies till late at night, get to know each other better
>i think im in love
>never make a move or ask her out because im scared
>month goes by
>meet at usual place for food with group
>3 of us get there early waiting for her
>hear one of them say, have you met (crush's name) boyfriend?
>i feel sick
>months go on
>it hurts more than my last breakup of a relationship of a year
>still hangout regularly
>still talk regularly
>she rarely comes out with us anymore
>invited to her family party
>other friends not there
>hey anon this is (boyfriend)
>he knows im in love
>me and her have a great night while he sits inside all night
>month later, no progress
I tried to make it green text-ish because i wanted to keep it short. im just sad and confused. She wasnt my purpose for living but my reason to keep going is that im always fantasizing a perfect life and she has been in the picture for a while, but shes slowly fading out and i dont know what to do. Im still going to school for some reason, dont have a major. I have normal job for 19 year old. Im going on vacation alone to south korea this winter break. I want to move away but i wanted to find someone to move away with. If i like it there i kind of want to ditch my life and move there and start a different life. I know thats not how it works though
