>>7976670Anon, just wanted to give you (and any other anon feeling like this) some optimisim to balance out all that pessimism. I dropped out of University completely because I hated it. I had no aims or goals in life and for about 3-5 years I just existed as a NEET living with my parents on disability allowance (big anxiety problems, could barely leave the house due to catastrophising everything like you do, had to take medication and get therapy for it). I had no education, no work experience, no Gee Eff, no ambitions, no motivation, no confidence or self-esteem, no social life, barely any friends, barely any money, the list goes on and the thought of suicide was looming greater each year. Then one day, someone who I cared about deeply confessed their feelings to me and I did the same back. Things snowballed over the years from there as my self-worth started recovering. I moved in with her. I learned to drive. I got an entry level admin job in an office. We bought a house of our own. We got married. I worked my way through various job switches to become a software developer and now I'm such a different person from who I was then and my attitude has changed so much that I would barely recognise that younger me. Point is that all those events were sparked by something I could never see coming that was out of my control. You never know when that will happen to you and all the pieces will fall into place and you will surprise yourself with how well you can handle it, despite how you feel right now. I was sure that I was a lost cause, and things certainly seemed that way for me, but you never know what weird twist life will throw at you to turn it all around. Good luck and stop worrying so much.
