>>7439458>>74278823. Deny yourself all pleasures for a few days, ideally 40 days if you can, as much as you can. Live clean, be good, deny yourself, humble yourself before God and your fellow man. No bodily pleasures, eat modestly just enough to stay on your two feet, preferably no animal products. During this time try to kill your ego. You are dying, so it should not be difficult to let go of any learned behaviour, including any kneejerk dismissal of the notion of a living God and of Judgement, and a Heaven and Hell.
4. Fing a secluded place, inside. Fall on your knees and pledge your life to Jesus Christ. Accept that your have failed to answer His call, and now before the end, you are ready to relinquish any notion of self-exaltation, any self-importance or notion of power, wisdom or knowledge. Confess that you are laid bare naked in the eyes of the Holy Trinity, have been a blind fool who has wasted his life and failed its purpose. Repent of all your sins (if you've read the New Testament you should know what constitutes sin - try to write them down, as many as you remember, and confess them without holding anything back, no room for pride or shame before death) and ask God to welcome you among his flock, that you want to pay for your sins whilst you are still alive (this is extremely important!!!) and that you want to spend your eternal life with your Father in Heaven.
5. Say the Lord's prayer (Matthew 6:9-13)
6. Spend the rest of your days praying constantly - the Jesus Prayer ( "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.") should be uttered in your mind or out loud if you can every waking moment until your death.
7. Look on
archive.org for the writing of Seraphim Rose - his books are priceless when it comes to explaining Christianity, the true faith to the modern man (nihilist, hedonist, atheist/apostate). It will become very clear how to live the rest of your life in Christ.