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22 with "daddy issues".
Soon I'll have to take care of my parents & brother once their illnesses get to them.
[spoiler:lit]Older brother slowly regressing mentally... gets opinions from youtube[/spoiler:lit]
[spoiler:lit]Mother has ms, wheelchair bound[/spoiler:lit]
[spoiler:lit]Bastard has PKD, soon restricted (I guess once he's retired) to his home on a machine[/spoiler:lit]
I'm the youngest who will have to somehow make more than what SSI can give (or attempt to get back on after wrongfully getting kicked off).
I don't know PEMDAS math, failed everything else.
Apparently my doctor when I was young said that I had all the forms of autism.
In her words: "He's basically holding the umbrella".
(Term for which specific version you have on each corner)
I have all the autism in the world, and yet I can't show it.
I act normal, but I guess mentally once things get challenging, my brain slows down until it's over or I fail.
And depression...
I wish I had suicidal depression.
Having normal depression is worse.
The never ending cycle of it without hope in sight.
At least you get some hope by pulling the trigger, but I don't have that urge.
I'd like to run away or even drive away & start life new.
But I can't leave 'em. I can't.
IDK what to do. Therapy is shit. Nobody takes me seriously.
Like naming your problems, it won't solve it.
I'm just stuck talking on here about stupid debates living rent free in our heads.
Collecting images (basically online hoarding) without control.
I wish I had a reset. Do things differently. Maybe get out of debt. Move away. Or end up homeless & drunk for "following my dream".
