>>7363472As a follow up to my last statements, you are never going to feel less empty until you figure out how to fill yourself. Even with all of my seduction, playing the seducer in every situation, and being surrounded by whoever and whatever I want... I am still empty and full of self-loathing. The grass is not greener, and though I seek to grow my own it withers and dies the second I take a break. Sorry if this does not help you, OP, but you aren't alone. Go buy a pack of cigarettes, find the tallest building with roof access, get on the roof, pop a cigarette in your mouth, sit or stand on the edge as you smoke it and consider jumping. Doing this always lets me know whether or not life is still worth living; unfortunately I am just waiting with exuberance for the day I nut up and jump.
