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These past three years have been a hell of a ride. Mental illness, suicide attempts, breaks ups, hook ups, drinking and opening up less and less over time. I realize that the kinder you are in this world, the more likely you are of being taken advantage of and that’s just fucked up. Girls don’t care if you treat ‘em right and stay with you because you are “mysterious” or interesting to them; the less you share, the better. I’m not saying this just because a girl hurt me in the past, I say it because ever since I tried to move on and stop being kind, I’ve seen and felt how little people actually care for each other.
Life is absurd, the finiteness of it is astonishing and I can’t help to remember how futile everything is every hour and every day. Sex is meaningless, love is never genuine, success is temporary, friends disappear and all happens within a few decades. This world is going to disappear eventually and we are nothing more that dust particles in the universal chaos. We are nothing, but that doesn’t matter as well.
