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I love 4chan because despite all the crass shit that gets posted here, the honesty that gets posted in threads like this hits me deep in my chest. Good job OP.
In my first year university I suffered from full-blown depression and social anxiety. I never left my dorm room and only played video games. I'd never had sex at that point and I watched tons of porn instead. I felt directionless and empty. I had a hard time getting out of bed.
When I was alone in the elevator going up to my dorm room I would mime blowing out my brains with a gun. I never seriously planned to kill myself but thoughts of suicide crossed my mind daily.
The worst part was never seeing a way out. I thought I would always be like this: a person with no friends, no meaning and no hope. I thought I was biologically wired to be a piece of shit.
Five years later I am so much better. I still struggle but now I have a girlfriend, a direction and a feeling of control over my life. I now see the world as full of possibility.
So for all those that just can't see anyway out of the pit they are in, there is hope. I won't presume to know how much it hurts or know your situation, but know that at one point I had no hope.
Now I do.