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Spending time with myself and I feel less lonely as the days go by. I am reminded of how different I am and how stupidly alone my person is when ever I interact with others. My parents knock on my door every now and again and it reminds me of my chains to them, I want nothing more than to just get them out of my life permanently and without any backlash. I need more money to up and move, and I need better focus to get that money but having interruptions every 1 - 2 weeks doesn't help. I've tried numerous times talking to them, trying to show them what they are doing wrong, ask them to stop talking with me.
>but I love you
No. Don't even try lying to me. You can't love someone else if you can't love yourself, and you so sincerly loathe your entire being. It's why you and your husband, son, wife, parent, sister(s) all fucking hate you and hate each other. It's the friction between yall and repeating lie after lie does nothing to make it right. It's the futile pursuit of affection and attention from others, carving holes into your soul and throwing them aside to appease another when in reality they are demanding sacrifices to place into themselves and to their surprise, the pieces don't fit. They don't belong in them. Everyone walking around me a hollow patchwork of mismatched garbage and throw-away selves and it all hurts to see. When they ask of me to do the same, when they prod, they demand, they coerce and pressure me to do the same, it hurts so much. When they ask me to hate myself once more.
No. Just NO. I just want to leave this Hell behind so I can be happy doing what I was meant to do, Being me.
>but you have so much to give
No. No I don't. I have what I am and what I give myself. All you do is take and take, and when I give, you take some more. Everything I give is what I have given to myself and when I have no more, I will be left empty again. I don't need to ask because I already know the answer. Leave me be and if you don't I'll run for good this time.
