Quoted By:
M
23
Australia
Dropped out of my Arts degree at 20 because I felt like I had no control of my life, before that every decision was made for me and thus I had become an indifferent, self absorbed asshole. Aware of my own assholishness yet still unable to control it, I moved back in with my Mum in a small rural town and worked through whatever shit jobs I could find.
I was miserable. Not just because of my situation but because I thought that if I really wanted to be the sort of man I wanted to be, then I should shut up, stop whining and I don't know, work some respectable labouring job till I died. Hence I went robot- yes sir, I can do that no worries, it's ok you didn't pay me, the economy is tough, I understand, I can take it, I'M A MAN.
When the raging boner I had for my righteousness had dissipated, I was still in a small town working hard to gain the respect of folks who didn't care about me. My dog's shit seemed to have a greater, more proactive impact on it's surroundings then I had on my own. Yes, yes, FML and such. I wondered why I was doing what I was doing and unable to to stop doing it, why try to impress these pricks? I don't even like them... Not at all. So I moved back to the city, bummed around and got a cruisy job in retail.
Now after being so long without anyone to talk to I find it hard to communicate with my few friends and fellow co-workers and I think they think I'm retarded. They talk to me slowly and often tell me the same thing multiple times but it's ok, I try not to let my own feeling of self worth be dictated by morons or even the most well meaning fools.
" They say that anonymity in the world of man is greater then the greatest fame in heaven. But what's heaven, what's earth? All in the mind." Jack Kerouac